Love Is An Action (What Love Is #1) Read online

  “Enough to know that we need to talk.” I groan and she swings an arm through mine.

  “Come on. We have to find some entertainment until Cash gets back, he’s our ride.”

  “Well…” Liz starts; I turn to look at her. We’re out at the track sitting on the cool steal bleachers of the stadium as we watch the track and field students come out to start stretching and doing a few laps around the football field. We’re nearing the end of winter and the weather is unseasonably warm. The air is refreshing, and the sun is shining without beating down on us in a way that would be uncomfortable. Tall trees line the edge of the gate on the outside of the field and the school parking lot is behind the bleachers Liz and I sit on.

  “Well what?” I ask.

  “When are you going to tell him?” At first I’m confused about her question. Then it comes to me. Cash. We have this conversation at least once a month. Liz is more predictable than my period.

  I roll my eyes. “At the same time you come out.” I tell her. She scowls at me. Liz and I are close, so I’m the only person that she has told about her…curiosity.

  “I’m not—”

  “I know, I know, you’re just curious. But, you’re afraid that you’ll be embarrassed and turned down. So am I.” I tell her. I lean back so that my elbows rest on the row of bleachers behind me as I glance out at the field, unseeing. “Either way, you should stop leading Tyler on.”

  “Hey! I genuinely like Tyler I’m just…a little indecisive. We’ve had this conversation before.” Liz huffs.

  “Yes, I know. It’s not pleasant when the shoe is on the other foot is it.”

  “Cash is crazy about you.”

  “Yes, that’s why he’s dating Malicious Marley.” Not to mention he is kind of a jerk.

  “They aren’t dating.”

  “Screwing then.” I say in agitation. I start biting my fingernails.

  “Okay, okay. I’m sorry, change of subject. Something less heavy.” Liz concedes and I nod. I hate when we fight. She’s the only dependable family I have and I don’t like when we aren’t on good terms. She doesn’t either, which is probably why the longest we’ve ever gone without talking to each other was one and a half school days. Not even a full 48 hours. It’s kind of sad.

  Somehow in the midst of our banter we end up on the subject of a new horror film that comes out this weekend. Both Liz and I hate horrors but, a part of our pseudo sister bond is being unnecessarily competitive.

  “Koko, you always seem to want to poke fun at me but, you and I both know that you are more afraid of horror films than I am.”

  “I beg to differ.” Liz rolls her eyes.

  “That doesn’t surprise me at all. Care to make it interesting?”

  “Whatcha got?” I ask.

  “I bet that if we go to the movies you will be the one to scream first. And when I win-“

  “If you win.” I cut in.

  “-then you will do my Language Arts homework for a week.”

  “Alright, and when you lose. You can do my Pre-Calc homework for a week.”

  “Deal. Whoever screams first loses.” I’m getting ready to add more to the conversation when Liz’s phone starts to ring. We already know who it is by the ‘I’m sexy and I know it’, ringer he keeps setting for himself. His cheek knows no bounds.

  “Hey Cash, what’s up?” I ask looking back on the field for cute boys.

  “If you pair still want a lift I’ll allow three seconds before I speed off.” Liz had to take her car in to service the brakes so until it’s finished we are at his mercy.

  “Okay, we’ll be right down.” I reply before quickly shutting the phone and looking over at Liz. “Race you for shotgun!” I yell before taking off down the bleachers and heading for the parking lot.

  “No fair Khloe!” She yells behind me making me laugh too hard to catch my breath so I have to slow down. Curly dark strands brush my face. When I see the deep blue Land Rover in the parking lot I run faster, hearing Liz approaching me on my right side. Liz is more athletic than me but, I have longer legs and a head start. Cash is leaned against the driver’s side with a very amused expression.

  “HA! I win!” I shout as I put my hand on the passenger’s side door and turn to see her just reaching the door. “And you said you were an athlete.”

  “Whatever, you had like a 5 minute head start!” She exaggerates out of breath and leans over her knees. Her wine-red hair looks a little wind-crazed and even though I am out of breath too I can’t help but laugh harder.

  On the drive home, I try not to freak out. Cash has never had a reason to come to my house because if we all hang out, we usually do so at Liz’s or out on the town. This is the first time that he will see where I live and I am completely unnerved by it. Naturally, Cash heads to Liz’s first because he knows how to get there. For some reason, I can’t find the words to tell him he should probably go to mine first because it’s pretty far on the rough side of town.

  When we arrive at Liz’s she winks at us and jumps out. “See you guys tomorrow!” She shouts as she walks up her driveway.

  “Bye!” I yell, Cash just waves and then we are off. For most of the ride to my place, we are both quiet—besides my directions— listening to the radio and enjoying the weather through the cracked car windows.

  “Khloe, there was something that I wanted to concern you with.” Cash starts hesitantly as he rubs the back of his neck. It’s obvious that something is bothering him; he almost never uses my given name. I don’t think I have ever really seen Cash nervous before.

  “Sure, what’s up Cash?” I am so caught off guard by his demeanor that I forget I’m the one that should be nervous here. I shift my gaze, as we pull to a stop in front of my drab apartment complex. I bite my lip as I look over the peeling paint of the building.

  “Well, there was something I needed to ask you but I’m not exactly sure how to start.” He continues on, still not really making any eye contact with me. I cock an eyebrow, curious and urging him to continue. He lets out a deep breath, “Look, my grandmo-“

  “Khloe!” My father’s drunken voice calls from the entryway of the complex causing me to noticeably stiffen. He stands just off of the sidewalk in ragged clothes and a half empty vodka bottle is in his hand. The other hand is clenched in a fist that he waves as he continues to yell at me. His curly brown hair is unkempt and his normally mocha colored skin looks darker because he hasn’t bathed.

  “What the h-hell ‘re ya doing?! G-g-get your assss in ‘ere right this instant!” He slurs loudly. Immediately, I feel my face heat up with embarrassment. Cash has never met my father before. I guess I imagined that he would meet him someday but I hoped that my father would be toting himself off to work or heading to his favorite bar, not walking around the neighborhood with a vodka bottle. I start gathering my stuff quickly as my eyes begin to water. I am mortified. My palms start to sweat making it difficult for me to grip my back pack and pull my skirt down simultaneously. I roughly push open the passenger’s door and turn in Cash’s direction without looking in his eyes.

  “Uhm, can we talk later? I need to go.” I mumble, staring at the emblem on his school blazer to keep from making eye contact with him.

  “Khloe…” he trails off in a voice that has so much pity laced into it that I look up at him with narrowed eyes. I feel angry and even more embarrassed that he feels bad for me.

  “Don’t.” Is my only remark before climbing out of the car and slamming the door. I rush over to my father and throw my hands in the air as I approach him.

  “What are you doing out here? You can’t just walk around with half empty liquor bottles, you could get arrested!” I sharply reprimand him as quietly as my shaking voice will allow.

  “I can do w-whatever the hell I want!” He shouts back at me before reaching for my arm but I pull it out of his grasp and storm past him towards the steps. There are a few rough looking neighbors sitting on the stairway that leads up to my apartment.

  “
Excuse me.” I mutter, so they part enough for me to get through.

  “No problem chica.” One of them says as he scoots over. They all glance behind me eyeballing my drunken father who is stumbling a few paces behind me.

  “Thanks.” I squeeze passed them, not bothering to help my inebriated father. We have never had a good relationship but lately it seems like we’re approaching a boiling point. I’m tired of feeling suffocated by him all the time. A part of me wishes that I didn’t care about him as much as I do. My life would be less painful if I didn’t.

  I pull on the door knob, twisting it harshly and it flings open. It figures he didn’t even lock the door before he went scavenging throughout the freakin’ neighborhood. Our mousy apartment is a mess. It’s pretty bare with only a minuscule amount of furniture in it.

  Bottles and cans are everywhere. Some are broken, all of them empty. Some plastic plates and utensils are piled in the kitchen sink, which is visible along with the living room upon entering the front door. I scrunch up my face in disgust at the state of our house. How did he do this in a single weekend?

  As I start cleaning, I try to strike a conversation to see where my father’s head is.

  “How was work today?” I ask unsteadily. Jobs are not a very stable thing around here. At one point I was almost permanently living with Liz and my dad was sleeping at a friend’s until the summer came and I was able to get a job and get us this small place. It is not the best but it is affordable, even with our spotty incomes and as much as I should dislike the situation I am in, our Casa Vega apartment is the most steady thing in my life besides Jasmine and Liz. Which is depressing if I put too much thought in to it.

  After I had to leave my job I helped my dad find two. Both of which he was promptly fired from. This last one, at an auto shop I believe— hey, it’s hard to keep up with sometimes— he found on his own when he ran out of booze money and he couldn’t harass me for it anymore.

  Finding nothing in the refrigerator, I sigh. I’m used to the basics; you’d be amazed at what I can do with noodles. My familiarity with the bare essentials is probably a big reason why culinary arts interest me so much. Well, that and the fact that cooking with my grandmother is one of few happy childhood memories that I have. For some reason, cooking and eating just make me feel relaxed in a way I haven’t found in another activity so far.

  “What?” He asks gruffly.

  “Your job.” My throat tightens and I clutch my hand into a tight fist. Crescent moons digging into my palm. Please still be working.

  “Eh. Didn’t go.” He says and my heart drops.

  “You didn’t get fired did you?” I am almost whispering.

  He sits up roughly and looks at me over the back of the black cracked leather of the old sofa. His thick eyebrows pull down in anger and he grits his teeth before replying. “‘Course not.” He has the gall to be offended.

  I release a steady breath. My heart begins to beat again, coming back from its brief hiatus. I nod. “Good. So you were off?”

  “Which one of us is the parent here?” I am not even going to walk into that one. Which one of us is the most responsible? Which one of us takes care of the other the most? Which one of us is doing things with their life? All of these questions lead to one answer, me. However, I can’t deny that he is biologically responsible for me being here. So I tuck my lips into my mouth and bite into them a little to hold back from saying something that will only further strain our relationship.

  “Just making conversation.” I say after a beat. For the rest of the night, we avoid each other as usual. After making some noodles, I head off to the bathroom, shower and do homework before going to sleep.

  CHAPTER THREE

  The next week is a haze of very little Cash and a lot more school work. Friday night, Liz and I go out to the movie we talked about and I win our bet. She claims I cheated, but I think telling some random guy that I’ll go on a date with him if he scares her during the best parts was just creative thinking.

  When we get to Liz’s we notice a familiar Land Rover parked on the side of the driveway.

  “What’s Cash doing here?” Asks Liz. I feel my eyebrows furrow, wondering the same thing. Jasmine’s car is in the driveway so that means he must be inside with her. We quickly climb out, curious to know what has dragged Cash over here without warning us first. I don’t have a phone but Liz does, and that is usually how he reaches either of us.

  We follow the voices from the front door to the kitchen and see Jasmine, her current fling; Tomas, and Cash standing near the island. Jasmine is stirring something on the stove and the two men in the room are leaned casually against the island, watching her and conversing. When they feel our presence, everyone turns to look at us.

  “What’s going on?” Liz asks cautiously and I can’t help but let my eyes roam over Cash. He is wearing a black V-neck t shirt that clings nicely to his form. His toned stomach is well defined in the snug shirt and for a second I can almost feel myself turning into one of those hormone crazed cheerleaders that chase him around every day. I have done a spectacular job of not letting him see that side of me so far and I am holding on to the tiny threads of hope that I can continue to hide my attraction to him, from him. He has on camouflage shorts and black Vans. By the time I let my eyes travel back up to his I almost step back from the intensity in his eyes.

  His gaze actually makes me feel a little self-conscious. I’m not sure what’s happening here, but I don’t like it.

  “Is that okay, Beauté?” Cash’s voice breaks me out of my reverie and I look around to see everyone is waiting for my reply. I was so focused on his eyes that I hadn’t even realized his mouth was moving.

  “I’m sorry what?” I bring my thumbnail to my mouth.

  Cash chuckles. “I just need speak with you for a moment. Privately. If you can.” I nod and gesture for him to lead the way. We end up outside standing next to his car. I lean against it and cross my arms over my chest, trying to put a small barrier between the two of us. The swampy Louisiana air is less stifling at night.

  I’m not quite sure why the dynamic between us seems to be shifting. One part of my brain associates the awkwardness with Cash getting a peak into what my life outside of school and Liz is. The other, tells me that this change has been a long time coming.

  My mild attraction to Cash surprises even me. I've only ever had one boyfriend and it didn't last long or get very physical so Liz says it doesn't count. It's not really that I'm not interested in boys it just seems that none of them have been able to catch my attention enough to slack on my grades any. I wouldn't call myself a nerd but, I do think that school is important. It sets a precedent for the future. I reside in the top 20% of my class and I might be popular if I could keep my mouth shut and had more money.

  Cash walks towards me with his hands in the front pockets of his shorts.

  “So what’s up?” I ask. Cash runs a hand through his thick black hair before his piercing gaze lands on me.

  “I need you to do me the favor of a lifetime.” He starts. I feel a smirk creep onto my lips at the same time my chest tightens in anticipation.

  “This sounds like it’s going to cost you.” I quip, trying to lighten the mood. Cash actually snorts in response.

  “Yes…I realize…” He mutters before sighing again. This time he walks closer to me. I stiffen a little.

  He reaches out to me and pulls my arms away from my chest. The simple action, not only makes me feel completely exposed, but also sets little tingles of warmth over my arms where he touches them.

  Cash’s hands slide down my arms to my own hands, which he grasps. My shoulders loosen a little. He looks worried. Butterflies erupt in my stomach and my palms start to sweat a little. I hope he doesn’t notice.

  “Cash you’re scaring me.” I meant for it to sound comical instead, it comes out a little strained. Cash and I are usually in heated arguments or trying to best each other in anything from test scores to one on one basketball game
s. When we touch each other it’s usually in sure movements not this hesitant, modest handling. Now I am really worried.

  “Right.” He sighs. “There are some things about me that you and Liz don’t notice.” I think he meant know. I raise an eyebrow but don’t interrupt. “These things don’t make me a different person. I don’t want to be treated differently because of it either, that’s not why I need you.” He continues.

  “Cash are you holding my hands so I don’t run away from you? Because I can tell you now, you’re making me more than a little nervous here.”

  He cracks a smile. “Have you ever heard of Le Roux?”

  “Uhm, yeah. You’d have to be living under a rock not to.” Le Roux cosmetics is a colossal makeup line. Most of the time if you go into a store to buy them all you’ll find is an empty space and a red sold out sign. The people in all the fashion magazines Liz inhales are always raving about their cosmetics. They’re a bit too pricey for me but sometimes I borrow Liz’s. Seriously fancy stuff. “Aren’t they the crazy brand that puts gold flecks in their makeup?”

  “Oui. The very same.”

  “What about them?” He sighs.

  “Take a walk with me, Beauté.” We begin to walk slowly down the dimly lit sidewalk and I wonder where in the world this conversation is headed. “Le Roux is a French based line. A socialite by the name of Lena Le Roux holds a controlling share in the business as her family has since its conception. Across the pond, as you would say, there is a major shift of power, where Le Roux cosmetics almost monopolizes any opportunities for any other cosmetics companies to even come close. But there is one company, Leblanc, that is gaining. Their founder is also a socialite and these two women have been at each other’s throats since they caught wind of the competition.”

  “Okay but, what does any of this have to do with you?”

  “Ever impatient.” He smiles but it’s strained. “When you are making major business deals and are constantly in the spotlight, apparently it is not appeasing to have your children splashed all over tabloids with dating scandals and an apparent lack of home training. Well, at least that is what Lena told me before I was on the first plane smoking to the states.” I scrunch my face up in confusion.